i have no idea what i am doing here right now. i planned to do oracle while watching tv but i ended up reading some blog and watching tv and after reading the blog, i felt the urge to blog.

i'm going to skip the whole run thing. i didn't complete it. fell down. and no, you don't need to know how i fall. it's damn embarrassing. and if you even care at all, i'm fine, just a few abrasions here and there.

something nice happened today (: i guess somebody was praying really hard that it would happen. well, i hope it's a good enough thing to happen for you to stop your weird moodswings and emoness and cheer up. i'm sorry that the "two greatest people" suck at consoling people. at least you know that however much we suck at consoling you, we will be there for you. oh my, so mushy.

oh i realised i haven't talk about the something nice. let's make it subtle. somehow, the thing that brought us together again was what blossomed our friendship in the first place. so there's the little regret that i harbour for not completing the run. with you.

allow me to quote "It's difficult to think of something which you cannot put into words. Such is the beauty and strength of language. That it stands capable of influencing our thoughts." and i wonder why my blog content is largely superficial things that happen here and there and rarely what i really feel deep inside. perhaps i can't think. i'm secretly a starfish. *gasp* i assure you that's not the case.

i'm just one that feels a need to keep certain, or perhaps most stuff to myself. blame it on my lack of trust towards people. i find it hard to confide, i don't know why. it becomes so hard for me spill anything too personal that i just burst everything out to hugo, my pillow and my bolster. imagine the catastrophe if hugo suddenly finds the ability to speak one day. he knows loads of my secrets.

oh, please don't find me weird just 'cos i talk to inanimate objects and a dog. at least i don't talk to tamtams.

or maybe it's 'cos i have absolutely no idea what i want. cos right now, there's this little war between my head and my heart. the head is winning, though, like always. but i don't know why, somehow the heart is fighting back really aggressively.

am i making any sense at all?

kick, punch, bite. guess who won?