i got a B for PW.

if i say i'm unaffected or feeling pretty neutral about the B, then i'm lying. 'cos i'm really pretty sad and disappointed about the B, not that i was confident of an A, but there's nth wrong with hoping.

i was pretty much stoning throughout the whole bus ride home, thinking about the B, or rather, the lack of the A. i don't really feel any regrets, pretty much cos i don't know what i'm suppose to regret about. partially cos i don't really remember the course of doing PW and partially cos i don't know what went wrong. it may have been the presentation, Q&A, PI, EOM or WR. i don't know and maybe will never know. it could have been something wrong with the group work, it could have been something wrong with my individual work. there are a 1001 possibilities.

then i realise, i've got the negative emotions not because i didn't get an A for PW, but because, at the point when i saw the freaking B on the slip of paper, it just hit on me that i will never be able to attain the 8 distinctions which i set as a goal to achieve, that i know 8 distinctions is impossible even without trying.

but i guess i can't do anything about it now. i wave goodbye to that goal of 8 distinctions. i pasted the slip of paper on my mirror where i will see it everyday, to remind myself that i have 1 B too many, and that there's no space for more.

well, congratulations to all who got your A. now, excuse me while i go get my 6 other 'A's.